Amber

Amber, 25 Years Old

I’m a 25 year old mother of four and have an amazing husband, Michael, who has always been my savior and completely supportive. I have struggled through much in my life.

At age 14 my father allowed in a 17 year old boy who had been orphaned and had made friends with my older brother. The boy started sexually and physically abusing me, but I thought it was best to keep it a secret. The boy hurt me physically in countless ways, one of those being that he gave me an STD called the Human Papillomavirus. I was told I was infertile and could not bare children, and even if I did miraculously conceive a child my female organs were so badly scarred and “damaged”. I could never carry it to term and I would always lose.

The doctors were wrong, thankfully. My first daughter was born in February 2000. My second daughter was in December of the same year at 7 lbs 10 ounces. By then my body had started to fail me and I could not give birth to her naturally or by C-section. She was born by fourth degree episiotomy, which is a gruesome painful way to have a child. I felt every cut, every turn of the flesh, every one of the 200 stitches that would from then on hold me together. I was dead for about five minutes. That’s when my doctors discovered the tumor on my cervix caused by the HPV virus. After healing from all of that my doctors removed the tumor and froze my cervix a few months after my daughter was born. At the time, I felt very confused and alone.

I had been clear of the virus for a year when the doctor started having problems accessing my cervix in order to check it for cellular growth. By that time, I had met my husband and gone through two miscarriages before successfully conceiving our youngest child (our son). After his birth I began getting sick again and showing the same signs and symptoms as before. For two years I struggled with all my symptoms but no doctor/specialist/whatever could view my cervix or get any results from the swabs. There was just not enough information for them.

After other situations that had arisen apart from my illness, my husband moved us to his hometown several states away. The gynos here had trouble as well with me so they ran all the blood tests, urinalysis tests and anything they could do to get an idea of what was happening to me. In December of 2006 the specialist that my husband found decided to try another route, as I was getting worse with every day. In January of this year on my birthday the specialist and her assisting doctor (I believe he was an oncologist or something (we never met)) performed an explorative surgery and found that my cervix, uterus, and fallopian tubes were riddled with level 4 cancer. They also found a spot on my bladder so they ran a biopsy on that. By the time they were done I had to have a radical hysterectomy done and a piece of my bladder removed. I have daily problems with my bladder still. Anyway, the specialist informed me in recovery that if she hadn’t taken out everything she took out, this Christmas would have been my last.

In retrospect, there were many symptoms associated with my HPV and Cervical Cancer that I should have paid more attention to at the time. I started my menstrual cycle around eight years old, and from then on I always had problems with abnormal bleeding. Because of this, I may not have picked up on any abnormal bleeding caused by HPV as quickly as I could have otherwise. After the age of 19 after I had my daughters, I noticed that I had blood clots. I also noticed that the volume of the bleeding was getting much larger and much heavier. After my son was born in 2003, the bleeding lasted for months. At this time I also started having thick dark discharge and a terrible odor. To investigate the cause of the discharge and the odor, I went to my doctor. They only tested me for a yeast infection, which came back negative. They didn’t go any further than that. Last year, in 2006, I started having cramps. Sexual intercourse was painful some weeks while other weeks I couldn’t feel my husband at all. Then I had no sensation whatsoever except every once in a while I’d feel sharp pain and cramping until finally I couldn’t get out of bed at all. I had also started having chronic fatigue. I even started losing my hair without chemo or radiation. To this day I still am not sure why I started losing my hair. However, since my surgery in January, the last two or three months my hair started growing back in and thickening. I had started keeping my hair long for five years and it was extremely thick (I’ve always had very thick hair), so it was easy to hide with a bandana.

The first thing I went through was shock, then fear, and then anger. I’m still going through the anger some days and also shame because I got the cancer through sex. I started going through bouts of fear recently because there is a chance it can come back. I am told that for every year my tests come back negative, I live another day longer. I’ve only been in remission since February so I’m sure these feelings are normal. But I am still scared and still very angry. There are days I feel as though no one would ever care if I did die and that maybe my family would be better off if I had. But I know that’s wrong.

Lessons Learned from Amber’s Story

· See the doctor as soon as possible if you experience abnormal bleeding, discharge, or odor.

· Painful sex is not normal. You should see your doctor to find out why you are feeling pain.

· If you feel that you are not receiving adequate treatment from your doctor, then find a new doctor.